A Nudge

Hello friends,

I just received a nudge from my editor’s (wonderful! helpful!) assistant to please remember to fill out my Author Questionnaire1 before publicity and marketing things get rolling for my book. It is VERY early days in the life of this book but I know this is how it all gets started. It was a kind nudge, a useful nudge, and a necessary nudge. I hadn’t forgotten, but I did need to move it up the to do list.

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I feel like work is nothing by nudges lately. I’m nudging editors about submissions, contracts, answers to questions. Clients are nudging me about their revised manuscripts, answers from editors, checks and contracts and did we ever hear back about….? Queriers are nudging me because it’s been months since they sent in their work and am I still considering it? (Yes! Sorry! I’m just so far behind!)2

But don’t worry. This is all OK. These nudges are kind, useful, and necessary. I am not mad at anyone that sends me a nudge. They are a part of life, a part of work, and that’s ok. They’re not fun to send or receive but not fun is not an emergency and I can handle it just fine.

But I also need to nudge myself out of decision paralysis. I look at my to do lists and inbox and think ok, I need to do fifty things. Which one first? and I kinda glitch until something gets my attention. A new email. A text. A nudge. Every day at three o’clock my computer chimes and a reminder pops up that says “eat something dummy.” I need this nudge or I get hangry and then wonder why I’m so tired and in a bad mood. I could use a nudge for more things like this, tbh.

I started this newsletter thinking man I’m just going to bitch about nudges for 600 words and that felt like a fine way to go, lol. But now, I think I’m halfway to making peace with nudges. I’m always going to have to send them. I’m always going to receive them. They will likely never cease to be tedious to send or receive, but hopefully, more often than not, good things will come out of them. A nudge is asking for something you need—a sign, an answer, proof of life—and asking for what you need is hard! (I’m not special but that is especially hard for me.) Not asking, though, is worse.

The trick is to remember that you are sending or receiving a nudge in good faith, that the sender is not saying you are so bad at your job why the hell haven’t you answered this already? And the receiver is not thinking omg not this fucking guy again. Even if there is a twinge of any of those feelings in there, you are not responsible for any of them but your own! You can decide to be mad about sending nudges or receiving nudges, but the feelings on the other side are none of your business! You can’t control how other people feel! You can just be kind and professional and hope for the best.

I’m going to set a reminder to remember that nudges are just part of publishing (and everything!) to come right after my afternoon snack. Everything’s easier after an afternoon snack.

Nudgingly yours,

Kate