Very Bad Query Letters

These are not real. But they're not far off.

Good gracious have I seen some bad query letters in my day. Some were for not-great books. Some were from angry or desperate or well-meaning but misguided authors. Some people are just jerks. I don’t take these things personally (most of the time). And as I have said before, the book does speak for itself in the end. Here, though, are some (fake) query …