Why You Should Rethink Asking Agents About Their Communication Style On The Call
Because it's probably not the question you really want to ask
[Not that anyone is keeping track but this is a makeup post for what I didn't send out last Thursday because life and work got in the way, not because I don't love you all.]
Hello friends,
I was recently on a panel for the MFA for All program, with fellow smart agent Danielle Bukowski at Sterling Lord, and the topic was how to get an agent. For two veterans like us, it was easy peasy, and we were happy to answer whatever questions were lobbed at us by the group. It's always the same questions, which is fine, because everyone starts their publishing journey in the same place: as a total newbie.
One of the regular questions we get, and we got on that panel, was what questions should we ask agents on The Call. Maybe it was something like what questions do you want to be asked on The Call, which tbh is a more fun version of that question and I suggest you ask agents that on The Call.
I had been thinking about this question before, too, probably inspired by something I saw on Threads, some attempt at giving advice that was just enough helpful to not be misinformation, but also not so helpful anyone would benefit from it. That's how Threads mostly is, imho. Anyway, this is what was sticking in my mind.
Stop asking agents about their communication style on The Call.
Really? you're saying? Why?? you're thinking. First off, if you do or have done this, you won't be penalized. It's not illegal. It doesn't make you look like a noob. This is just a thought I've been having and tbh maybe every other agent in the biz disagrees with me. So be it.
But what that question really asks is How long do your clients normally wait to hear from you, because I hear horror stories of agents ghosting their clients and I've already been ghosted by 7800 agents in the query process and I can't handle that again? How long should I wait to freak out if I haven't heard from you? Do you have a habit of ghosting your clients? If I can't get a response from you in X amount of time, what's my recourse?
And I GET IT. I totally understand. There is a power imbalance between writers and agents, especially at the beginning and especially before a writer is an official client, and it sucks to feel powerless. You want a potential agent to say I will never hurt you. You want them to say You are important enough that I will always answer your emails in the exact right time frame so that you don't spiral and think I hate you. You want them to say I might ignore other people's emails but never yours. I also want people to say that to me, especially editors. But no one is going to say this to any of us and that's ok.
Asking an agent what their communication style is also a means to ask Can I text you or do you hate that? Will you respond to my DMs or do you need a formal email from me all the time? Can I send you a voice memo? I have a particular need and would like to communicate with you via XYZ. Is that possible?
