Do You Need to Meet an Agent in Person to Get Published?

Hey folks!

I'm back from Italy with a new-found love of espresso and wine at lunch. But since I really can't live la dolce vida day to day, it looks like we're back to drip coffee and wine in plastic cups at publishing parties. But being on an intensive retreat with writers for a week, and also hosting a How to Write a Non-Fiction Book Proposal workshop at Liz's Book Bar in Brooklyn (my fave) next week on Wednesday, Oct 6th at 7pm, I was thinking about the benefits, and pitfalls, of rearranging your life to meet a publishing professional in person. Do you need to meet an editor, an agent, a publisher in person to become a successful author?

The short answer is no. To dispel any calls of it's who you know from the peanut gallery, sitting across the table from an agent or editor won't get you a book deal. 1 meeting + 1 agent ≠ book deal. 10 meetings + 1 editor ≠ book deal. It's not a coffeeshop punch card. It's not a drive through writing career.

Why? Because I'm a literary agent not a talent scout. I'm not looking for people who can entertain me for 15 minutes in an over-air conditioned conference room. I'm not looking for people who can memorize and preform their pitch like they're trying out for summer stock. I'm not even looking for writers who can tap dance their way onto podcasts and morning TV spots to talk about their book. Because none of those things are the book, and readers in stores buy the book. There's no tap dancing or podcasts without the BOOK.

But also, a meeting is not reading. A meeting is talking about a book, getting to know someone, having a conversation. It's not reading a book and I have to read the book before I can decide if I can be someone's literary agent. I need space and quiet and time to assess whether a project is viable to me and whether I have the time and bandwidth to be that author and book's advocate to the publishing industry. That takes me more than 15 minutes. That could take me weeks.

Ok, so, we've established that you don't seek out a meeting with a publishing person to guarantee a book deal. So what DO you get out of meeting with a publishing person in real life?

Information: One of the primary reason I do in-person events is to teach people things, whether that's one-on-one or in more classroom-like settings. I want to share what I know so that it might help others reach their goals. I like talking to people IRL and teaching face-to-face (Zoom count) and I learn so much when I can see that an author really gets what I'm saying by the look on their face. Some people learn better this way, or find a class/workshop situation is a good way to get started on what else they need to learn. Why does anyone take a class on anything? To learn.

Humanity: As I've said before, I'm just a person with a job. I am not a magical publishing god and I cannot anoint you a Published One. I can't look in your eyes, see just how badly you want this and say ok, I'll make it happen for you. (But also, you can't talk your way into being my client.) That's just not how it goes. So, when you see me, or another agent or editor, in person, it's a good reminder that we're all just people with jobs, with a passion for books. It reminds me, too, that writers are people, not just ceaseless waves of email-generators who want my attention. You know what I mean. We all have to remember that the people on the other side of our labor are people not work. Talking to people who do the same things I do, who love the same things I love, makes me a better agent, writer, and teacher.

Community: Almost every workshop, class, retreat, etc type program I've been involved with has spun off into a community, big or small. I know students I taught fifteen years ago still chat, at least a few of them. I know I will keep in touch with my fellow teachers and retreat coordinators from my Italy trip and I think the attendees will do the same. This doesn't mean you will always get instant, lifelong friends out of one 90-minute class, but you could meet two or three people you really hit it off with and they might become your writing group, or your email-once-a-month-for-encouragement group, or one single, solitary beta reader. Or something else that isn't transactional and is just personally fulfilling instead. Maybe the first class you take isn't so great but when you go back the next year, you find your people. And that "pays off" down the line in ways you can't even imagine right now.

It is hard to take class or go to a workshop or retreat. It can be expensive (though my workshop at Liz's Book Bar is super affordable!) and create ripples in your schedule. Who's cooking dinner that night you're out? Who's watching the kids and who will walk the dog? Do you have to skip the gym, or the laundry, or your weekly call with Aunt Selma? Do you have the energy for it? Will you have it that particular day? The calculus is complicated. You want anything you do, anything extra you do that may tax your life in big or small ways, to be "worth it." When you're doing that math, be sure to avoid the 1 class = book deal equation. You'll get that one wrong on the final. But it might be 1 class = learning the thing that unlocks another thing you've been stuck on for months. 1 workshop = confidence and calm to tackle the big project because you realized it's not as scary as you thought it would be. 1 IRL event = connection to someone else who can support you along the way. All these things are "worth it." A book deal is not the only measure of a writing career.

So, come see me in Brooklyn on Wednesday Oct 6th to talk about Non-Fiction Book Proposals. No one is going to walk out of there with a book deal. But some of you may walk out of there with a new perspective on that thing you want to write. With a new direction to actually finish that half done thing on your computer. With confidence that you can actually do it, even if it's hard, even if it's uncertain, because that's how everyone feels all the time anyway. I'm going to tell you practical things about Non-Fiction Book Proposals, (including memoir!) but I'm also going to hold your hand (a little) and tell you that it's ok to be nervous about writing a big thing, and taking a big swing. If it were easy, you wouldn't need a class.

OXOXOXOX,

Kate

Who am I and what is this? This is Agents & Books, a twice-weekly newsletter about writing, publishing, and the creative life. I've been an agent for 20 years, most of it at the Howard Morhaim Literary Agency, and I'm the author of two books: Write Through It: An Insider's Guide to Publishing and the Creative Life (Simon Element, 2025) and a picture book called Pay Attention to Me!, with illustrations by Rob Justus (Sourcebooks, 2026). If you haven't already, become a subscriber today. $5 a month or $50 a year. Same price since 2019! Need to unsubscribel? Look here.